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Conflict can be incredibly taxing, and the inability to navigate conflict strategically often leaves our relationships more dysfunctional than functional. Learning how to have better conflicts can lead to better mental, emotional, and even physical health.
Conflicts start with us. Who we are, our stories, our triggers, our trauma—all these aspects of identity feed into how we handle conflict.
There are few (if any) conflicts that are devoid of power and emotion. Understanding these dynamics in conflict help us to reclaim our own agency and communicate more effectively.
Understanding the invisible tethers of expectation, obligation, fault and responsibility in our relationships can help clarify those conflicts that appear mysterious and messy.
Every conflict is unique. Therefore, I treat each case individually, devoting special attention to understanding all dynamics involved and considering creative solutions that work for you. When it comes to interpersonal conflict, I really only have one rule and that is: if you can avoid it, never fight with anyone you don't love. And if you can't avoid it, be strategic about your energy. Conflict can help us grow, but resolution often takes a lot of work. I find that reconsidering conflict in this way can help to demystify the process and engage our empathic capacities.
Copyright © 2024 Colleen Tolan - All Rights Reserved.
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